i. bittersweet ending you die. your body is eaten, maybe, you know they do that. you hope you disappear into the earth, hope that minho and tommy and all the others can come back one day to flowers where you fell. this is their new world. you try not to think of yourself as left behind.
ii. bungled suicide you didn’t die. the crack of your leg was the loudest noise you ever heard. you pretend you were knocked out before the impact, that the sound doesn’t haunt your dreams. you pretend your leg healed improperly but your mind healed completely. no one believes you. you don’t believe you.
iii. deadpan snarker you always enjoyed the way minho’s lips twisted when he joked with you. you tried to follow that, learned your own way of sharp words and biting insults. laughing came later. you learned how to cover up sadness, wondered if minho was doing the same, never asked.
iv. fighting from the inside you caught the flare. the feeling was familiar, your brain spiraling away from you. how do you control a free-falling disaster? more jokes, more smiles, no one believes you.
v. the heart you find your body tattooed with “the glue.” you don’t know how to live up to this. you smile, you joke. everyone believes you, you don’t believe you, your heart hurts.
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